Kaydance aka "Unit 1"

Ok, so my father, for years and years, has said that if he had his way 30 years ago, he would of started a trend in our family. He would of named me "Unit 1." My two sisters would of naturally been named, "Unit 2" and "Unit 3." I always thought this strange, odd and ridiculous. Until now . . . .
This week has given us many firsts. One of them is naming our unborn daughter. I uncharacteristically, became emotionally infatuated with one name in particular. I had unrealistic expectations for my DH to live up to. In my mind, I didn't even think twice about the idea that my future daughter's beautiful name, which means a melodic rhythm, would be coupled with the Sam Cooke classic, "The Chain Gang." Other popular witty references have been Dropkick Murphy's, Cadence of Arms or marching in combat. Being female, I had never even come close to thinking about these references. However, references they are and now, we are back to the drawing board . . . 21 weeks in.
For those of you who know me well, you know that knowing what we are having and not having a name for her, is DRIVING ME MAD! I am sure that there is a life lesson in this, I just have to decide to look into a bit more. I am sure it has something to do with patience, stopping and listening and not having expectations that are not CAREFULLY thought through. It is not like these haven't plagued me my ENTIRE life or anything . . . .

Its a . . .

1 - our child has extremely long femurs, thus giving our child really long legs. 2 - our child likes it's hands and has an outstanding arm block, 3 - our doctor likes to tease us for long periods of time before allowing us to know what we are having at the end of July. 4 - Our doctor also believes that it is a pretty STRONG chance that our daughter will be a red-headed soccer player!

21 weeks . . .

As far as 21 week tummies go, I know mine is small, but regardless . . .

30 and pregnant . . .

At 2o weeks pregnant, I will not say I have learned it "all." I know that over the next 20 weeks and the years to come, I will learn much more.

What I have learned is that I believe that being pregnant has brought out a better version of me. Sure, there are odd pains, emotional breakdowns, unrealistic expectations, relentless migraines and many other unexplained inflictions. However, for the first time ever, I HAVE to think about someone other than myself. Not that I have never done it before, but this time it is for someone that is utterly helpless and has no audible defense. For the first time in my life, I am tasting the tid-bits of the beginnings of what our Savior must have felt when He laid Himself down on that cross.

I have watched my husband begin this journey dreaming of zombies and chemical warfare. Yes, you read that last line right . . . zombies . . . chemical warfare. Apparently this is common amongst new fathers-to-be. As we dream about cooing babies, they plan home protection strategies and scourer the internet for the cheapest ammo for their shotgun. I found this process odd and even my Texas, ya move and I will shoot you dead, attitude had a difficult time relating.

The differences between our two outlooks seems . . . well . . . vast. However, regardless of what you read above, between the lines, we both are writing the prologue of our story as parents. Regardless of the zombie shout-outs, know that all of that was a process my husband had to go through to "let go" and let God take control. I believe that without this initial dream, the utter truth of it all would of been too overwhelming for him. It is hard for me to believe that at the end of this, I will be a mom. However, I have NO problem seeing my husband as an AMAZING father. I needed to be overwhelmed by the "in your face" truth of it all. My husband needed the joke. Through the lessons that we have learned thus far, we are beginning to see how He will deal with the each of us, as He molds us into the kind of parents He wants us to be.