What I have learned is that I believe that being pregnant has brought out a better version of me. Sure, there are odd pains, emotional breakdowns, unrealistic expectations, relentless migraines and many other unexplained inflictions. However, for the first time ever, I HAVE to think about someone other than myself. Not that I have never done it before, but this time it is for someone that is utterly helpless and has no audible defense. For the first time in my life, I am tasting the tid-bits of the beginnings of what our Savior must have felt when He laid Himself down on that cross.
I have watched my husband begin this journey dreaming of zombies and chemical warfare. Yes, you read that last line right . . . zombies . . . chemical warfare. Apparently this is common amongst new fathers-to-be. As we dream about cooing babies, they plan home protection strategies and scourer the internet for the cheapest ammo for their shotgun. I found this process odd and even my Texas, ya move and I will shoot you dead, attitude had a difficult time relating.
The differences between our two outlooks seems . . . well . . . vast. However, regardless of what you read above, between the lines, we both are writing the prologue of our story as parents. Regardless of the zombie shout-outs, know that all of that was a process my husband had to go through to "let go" and let God take control. I believe that without this initial dream, the utter truth of it all would of been too overwhelming for him. It is hard for me to believe that at the end of this, I will be a mom. However, I have NO problem seeing my husband as an AMAZING father. I needed to be overwhelmed by the "in your face" truth of it all. My husband needed the joke. Through the lessons that we have learned thus far, we are beginning to see how He will deal with the each of us, as He molds us into the kind of parents He wants us to be.
