You have done it . . . You are in a hurry. There is no time at all to stop to look at the fun $1 section of Target. You have a mission, find gift, card and random kitchen item and get out. There is no time for anything else! Then it hits you . . . being pregnant makes this just that much worse . . . you have to pee!
So, you run into the bathroom, breaking the cardinal Target Rule, with non-purchased merchandise in hand to get the job done and get out. You find the closest stall, ignoring that "small voice" telling you to spend the time to find the stall that was used the fewest amounts of time in-between cleanings.
Hold on one moment . . . back up . . . on a regular visit to the Target bathroom, one is careful about which stall they choose. I tend to use the one that is furthest from the door and always check to make sure that there is toilet paper and toilet seat covers. I also do a quick spot check around the toilet to check for shady looking water puddles and will usually wipe the seat with toilet paper before applying the toilet seat cover.
Now back to the earlier conversation . . . so despite my better judgment, I ran into the closest stall, did not do my usual routine, went to grab the toilet seat cover and was faced with a choice. There were no toilet seat covers. The CHOICE became, do I leave this stall, get into the now-forming line and wait for one with toilet seat covers? Or do I choose door number two, which is grab toilet paper and make it be a substitute for the missing cover?
It took me all of two seconds to make that decision. I know you know what I chose, otherwise there would not be a blog about it. I begin putting toilet paper on the seat. Now, when one uses this method, they have to make sure they use enough that it stays put, but not so much that it becomes too heavy and slips into the toilet before you can actually sit on it. In this case I was a bit stingy and . . . well . .. .
I sat and miraculously, it stayed put, BUT this was the part I left out. If you do not put enough, it does not create the proper seal, thus becoming useless and unsatisfactory. Whatever was left by the last user, will seep through and you will find yourself in a very soggy situation. I found myself wishing I had just sucked it up and gotten back in line!
Needless to say, I learned a lesson this day . . . ALWAYS listen to that "small voice" when using the public restroom. Otherwise, you might find yourself in desperate need of a bidet.
5 comments:
So in reading this, I was waiting for the punchline of the story to be that you dropped the item you had yet to pay for in the toilet. :)
What a depressing post!! :( No likey!!
talitha, your awesome.
you and i use the same stall.
i've taken items that weren't yet paid for into target bathroom. hey, when you gotta go!!
someday you'll blog about going to potty with the baby strapped to you in the baby bjorn.
when that day comes you will be "coolawesome" (noah's made up word).
Careful ... it happens at our school bathroom too. Just ask Lisa. She's come in more than once to disinfect herself after the fact. Sooo gross.
Okay, so I hear you on this one completely. I fell into the toilet in the middle of the night at my own house, when I was really really pregnant. Always look back and down, and side to side. You never know what my happen in the bathroom.
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